


In Which Turlough Breaks the Sexbot

by silver_devastation



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-17 05:03:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1374790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_devastation/pseuds/silver_devastation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Turlough had located the Doctor — still engaged in that mindnumbing conversation with Tegan, about flowerpots of all things — he had already prepared several excuses. It turned out he needed none of them: the Master’s threats were still fresh in everyone’s minds. </p><p>“There’s something wrong with Kamelion,” was all he needed to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Turlough Breaks the Sexbot

Shortly after the TARDIS crew had fled from the Master at Fitzwilliam Castle, Kamelion in tow, the shapeshifting robot broke down. There was a hiss and a bang and for twenty very long and uncomfortable seconds Kamelion repeated his final sentence over and over again. Each instance became more distorted than the last as he reverted back to his robot form. Syllables stretched until words broke apart, mutilated and utterly meaningless. Finally, there was silence.  

Of course Turlough had nothing to do with it. He had nothing to do with the increasingly agitated and yet futile attempts at fixing the robot either. He merely happened to be in the general vicinity. Passing through. Purely coincidentally. 

Nevertheless, when Turlough had located the Doctor — _still_ engaged in that mindnumbing conversation with Tegan, about _flowerpots_ of all things — he had already prepared several excuses. It turned out he needed none of them: the Master’s threats were still fresh in everyone’s minds. 

“There’s something wrong with Kamelion,” was all he needed to say. 

Moments later the three of them were crouched around the shimmering, androgynous robot. The Doctor shifted Kamelion onto his side, carefully, then onto his back again, mumbling to himself, a deep furrow of concentration on his forehead. There was no way Turlough could let on that he had tried the same thing already, so he stuck to observing. Tegan still hadn’t overcome her antipathy towards the robot, which made him hope desperately that she would grow bored of watching the Doctor fiddle with it and leave before anything happened. If anything happened. Not that anything was bound to, of course. 

Unfortunately, she merely crossed her arms, looked skeptical, and stayed right where she was. 

The Doctor’s fingers wandered over the robot’s metallic surface, touching, feeling, searching. They seemed to read Kamelion’s glimmering outside like a language only they could understand. Turlough willed himself to look away.  

“You see—actually, that reminds me.” The Doctor fished in his pockets for his golden halfmoon spectacles and put them on, then looked at Turlough over the rim of his glasses. It was a look that made Turlough’s insides twist up. Then the Doctor bent over the robot again.

“Since Kamelion is a weapon of war, employed to spy and infiltrate at a distance, perusing a vast number of disguises, two things are of the utmost importance.” 

“A charming smile and a snazzy dress sense?” Tegan’s voice dripped with sarcasm.  

“No,” said the Doctor, shooting her a grin, “although, admittedly, those _do_ help. Thank you, Tegan. What I meant is that, one, he must never say anything so outrageous that he would give himself away, and two, if, against all odds, he is captured, he must be impossible to disassemble.”

A cold feeling spread in Turlough’s stomach and the tips of his fingers started to tingle. He rubbed them against the palms of his hands, mechanically, reassuring himself.

“Let’s just leave him then,” he said, his voice sounding a lot more tremulous than he liked. “If he’s impossible to disassemble, there’s no use trying to fix him.” 

The Doctor gave him a long look. “Turlough. We don’t just _leave_ things. The people of Xeriphas are masters of robotics. They wouldn’t build a machine as sophisticated as this—,” Tegan rolled her eyes at that, “—and leave it with no means of reversing any damage that might occur. As a matter of fact, Kamelion does not actually look damaged. No, something must have triggered an emergency shutdown.”

The Doctor pressed his fingertips onto a spot just below Kamelion’s chin. The robot’s mouth opened. 

“This means that if you know just where to look,” The Doctor pressed once more and Kamelion’s mouth closed again, “you can get the robot to replay the incident causing it to shut down. It’s an important defense mechanism, meant to relay information back to camp.” 

A slight smile began to curl at the corners of Tegan’s mouth. 

“Does this mean he’s been made to say something outrageous?”

“Possibly. Let’s see.” 

The Doctor’s hands felt around Kamelion’s neck until they reached a spot at the back of his head that must have been similar to the one in front. Turlough didn’t like this one bit. 

“Is this really necessary? Can’t we just—”

“There we go.” The Doctor interrupted him, pressing the spot he had just found.

With an erratic shudder the robot sat up, looking around wildly. The voice that came out of his mouth was eerily familiar and his inflection unmistakably the Doctor’s: 

“But Turlough,” the voice said. “ _Of course_ I like you more than flowerpots.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Three days later, when Tegan finally stopped laughing at him and Turlough stopped flushing bright red whenever he saw her, he found he had made a new friend.  

As for the Doctor himself—

In a quiet moment after they had left the Tomb of Rassilon he stopped Turlough, gently putting a hand on his arm: “You know, about Kamelion the other day—”

Turlough shrugged the Doctor’s hand off and ducked as if ready for a fight. “I don’t want to talk about it.” 

The Doctor nodded and buried his hands deep in his trouser pockets. 

“Neither do I, but I’m afraid one of us will have to.” 

He took a deep breath. 

“What Kamelion said that day—it might not have been entirely untrue.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Beta-read by pygmy-of-triviality.


End file.
